Shot in the dick-tits: Bulletstorm (PS3)

Overstaying its welcome and tonally dysfunctional, Bulletstorm is a brash, crass and colourful shooter. Created by Painkiller developers People Can Fly and executive-produced/published by Epic, Bulletstorm attacks the dour grey-brown colors of modern military shooters with an explosion of environmental palettes. The Unreal 3 engine is used at its best with funnel driven corridors limiting player exploration to long pretty lanes swarming with berserk enemies.

Playing as alcoholic rogue Grayson Hunt, the story swerves from low comedy to “drama” in fits and starts, like a high school play staged by tourettes-laden epileptics. Hunt heads a squad of military assassins, who have be mislead into executing innocent voices of dissent rather than the criminal scourge they had been told. Forced to run, Hunt finds his crew and ship nose to nose with the ship of the man who betrayed them. Suicidally attacking the overwhelming force of the enemy, Hunt brings both ships down on a ravaged resort planet.

The rest of the story is essentially pointless as 45 mins into the game the mechanics become the only reason to finish Bulletstorm. Once planetside, Hunt is forced to search for power to save a crew member, and along the way picks up the leash. Coupled with a biometric HUD, the leash allows the player to grab objects and enemies and fling them into gunfire or environmental hazards. The HUD is a macguffin that allows for the scoring system that dominates the gameplay.

Scored on the creativity of combining gunfire with leash handling and the environment (called skillshots), the player is able to unlock various weapons and upgrades by nailing shots like “gang bang”, “rear entry” or “pricked”.

Juvenile and gory, Bulletstorm is tripped up by many of the tropes it attempts to mock. However, the snappy controls, colorful design and over the top humor help alleviate the pain of transparent plot points and trite tales of vengeance and redemption. At the point where the player replays an entire map 2/3rds of the way through the 8 hour playing time, the game has worn out its welcome and its charm.

Fun but empty, Bulletstorm is the fat-free popcorn of gaming.