I Deserve Better

Buried between the piles of revelations and self-reflections of late, I come to realize that my time deserves to be better spent. That there is only so much of it left, and to spend more than a moment experiencing something bad is not worth it.

Two forms of media crystallized this for me, two experiences that I went into knowing what to expect and to expect little. The first was the film Prometheus, which is a stunning visual work, a first step into 3D by a master filmmaker and a complete waste of time. Ridley Scott made his career as an intellectual heir to Stanley Kubrick, making thinking films that spared little time for Spielbergarian sentiment. Prometheus is a abject betrayal of that legacy and a pathetic cry from man closer to and afraid of his own death. In the film he seeks meaning by finding God, through the most likely of methods: co-incidence and convenience.

The second experience was the endless hours put into The Amazing Spider-man (360). A corridor crawler (ugh) with an empty and repetitious 'open world" wrapper that allows one to web swing across an empty city at great speed. A victim of not enough time or ideas, ASM infuriated me with its clumsy mechanics and loose controls. Instead of using the tight combat and discovery of Arkham City to inspire, the ham-fisted hands of Beenox cloned Arkham and wedged Spider-man into it, failing at both the combat puzzle and the immersion of being Spider-man.

So I quit.

I decided that I would no longer waste what little time I have on things I already know I won't like.That being part of the conversation isn't worth the time. That I don't need to swallow the last bite of a shit sandwich to know it tastes like shit. I can tell from the smell.

What it says about me that that was(is) important to me to be engaged in the online zeitgeist more than I am in more own real world life is yet to be discovered. I am certain I won't like much of it but if I am going to eat one last shit sandwich, that pain needs to be worth something more than one more voice in the mass of white noise.

It needs to be meaningful.