COD-Blocked: Call of Duty Black Ops (360)

Playing an FPS on a console is one of those things in life I hate, like people who cross the parking lot diagonally, strolling along as if the entire space was theirs alone.A long time PC gamer, I am spoiled by the responsive accuracy of the mouse and keyboard. I generally loathe twin stick shooting, as I ALWAYS disable the aim-assist, preferring to actually try to shoot what I aim at.

I am not often successful and in fact the Halo series are close to the only shooters that feel tight and responsive to me on console. Somehow Bungie's secret sauce of loose responsive vertical movement and I assume some kind of predictive code combined with satisfying spray'n'pray weapons make it feel right.

Call Of Duty:Black Ops does not.

Set during the cold war, with a flashback to the familiar and well-worn territory of World War II, COD:BLOPS follows soldier/special ops/secret agent? Alex Mason. Voiced by Sam Worthington, Mason's most distinguishing feature is his lineage from the little know Australian area of Alaska, as Worthington's accent veers more than a drunk kitten on a lazy susan.

The story opens with an interrogation of the player as Mason, and flashes back to the experiences that lead to this moment. Hopping from Cuba, to Russia, to Vietnam, COD:BLOPS follows the now formulaic COD path of telling the story from multiple viewpoints, in multiple locations, though never straying from the corridor shooting that have long defined this series. Often more like an interactive movie, the player is directed from checkpoint to checkpoint in breathless fashion, interrupted only long enough to show a scripted sequence or a cut scene.It is even possible to complete entire missions without firing a shot, as seen here.

While the previous entry in the franchise flirted with controversy in the "No Russian" mission (an essentially empty exercise in shock rather than meaning), developer Treyarch avoids such potential stumbles by offering nothing new at all. In an early mission, set during the Souyez launches in Russian, the game hands the player reskinned versions of the weapons used in MW2. The anachronism is so blatant that the game's dialogue even addresses it as the player fires a Javelin missile, something not yet invented for 30 years.

COD:BLOPS picks up steam during a series of sequences set in Vietnam. Drenched in cliched atmosphere, wide scale battles rage in and around entrenched defenses as aerial napalm strikes and massive lines of explosive detonate and annihilate scores of enemies, generating real chaos. Eventually, the battle is taken underground in a tunnel rat sequence that while heavily scripted has some truly memorable moments. Unfortunately the game takes a turn for the worse in cribbing whole sequences from movies like The Deer Hunter and Full Metal Jacket, culminating in one of the worst missions in recent history, an on-rails helicopter battle using a Russian Hind.

Funneled up river to the next checkpoint, the player never actually controls the vehicle, with only slight vertical and lateral movement possible. Essentially a light-gun version of a strafing run, the control scheme becomes hideously incompetent when facing enemy helicopters. Unable to maneuver in any reasonable fashion, the dogfight degenerates into literal circle strafing to avoid incoming fire while peppering enemies with missiles. Unfortunate and frustrating, the sequence adds nothing to game but additional playtime.

The Infamous Hind Sequence

As the story progresses it becomes more bombastic and less coherent, eventually morphing into a James Bond style megalomaniacal master plan that abandons all sense of history.While COD:BLOPS does have a far less dense, more linear and clear storyline than the Modern Warfare games, it undercuts itself by never taking the time to develop any of the characters, or even explore the historical context of the time period.

Empty of any meaning or even risk, COD:BLOPS delivers on the promise of a COD game by repurposing tech and design formula without bringing anything new to the equation, save for an after-credits level that is the only inspired and truly entertaining part of the game.

Unsurprisingly it is already a massive success, ensuring this franchise will continue.